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Reasons Your Friend Doesn’t Want To Visit You In Philly

Photo by Heidi Kaden on Unsplash

You won’t let them walk around Old City yelling “Wow, so old!”

They’re scared of the dark.

Philadelphia has been rated PG-13 by the Motion Picture Association of America and they just don’t feel like they are mature enough yet to handle that.

They’re worried their Cowboys face tattoo will not be received well.

They grew up in Philly.

“I could just FaceTime you instead.”

Their mom said no.

Because of the goddamn fucking pandemic, stop making this about you Jesus Christ, man!