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Millions Left Without Personalities As Disney Delays Marvel Phase 4 Films Again

Photo on the right by cottonbro from Pexels

ANAHEIM, CA – Tragedy struck this week as the personalities of millions of people were taken away, following Disney’s announcement of the status of Marvel’s Phase 4 films.

Chairman of Marvel Entertainment Issac Permutter addressed the delay in a press conference. “We’re disappointed but optimistic that this delay will lead to higher revenues. We’re hoping our data scientists can turn up some new trends so we can shoehorn some more relevant themes into them, and see if we can increase viewership. Wait, is this the press conference or the shareholder meeting?! Forget what I just said! The delay is for artistic reasons!!!”

Insurance salesman Richard Brackman was especially hard hit by the news. “Our watercooler talk has exclusively revolved around the MCU since 2012”, Richard said. “What are we supposed to talk about now, our kids? The fuck am I going to say about them?”

“Our daughter was supposed to have a Black Widow themed birthday party this month,” Richard’s wife Lorraine lamented. “We were going to legally change her name to Natasha Romanoff Brackman for her present. How’s that going to make any sense if the movie’s not out yet?”

“I guess we’ll just have to find some other stuff to watch in the break, just to get by”, Brackman sighed. “Ugh, I can’t believe we’re finally going to have to watch the new Justice League.”