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Grand Piano Gives Birth To Baby Grand Piano In Major C Section

Photoshop by Mike Paulshock

PHILADELPHIA – Counting to make sure the baby had all 88 keys, doctors at Jefferson Hospital announced Sunday that a grand piano gave birth to a baby grand piano in a Major C section. 

Local Yamaha grand piano Allegra Debussy knew it was time to go to the hospital when she felt A sharp pain just above her legs.

“I looked down and went ‘Holy smokes! I think my strings just broke!’ “ explained Allegra, who then immediately called the piano moving company. “The minute we got in that truck I was yelling to the driver, ‘Come on, step on that sustain pedal! We don’t have much time signature!’ “

The couple explained they knew they were getting a C Section ahead of time and did research to find the best Organist in the city.

“The doctor was great with us- frankly, the whole staff was really great to us,” said Allegra’s husband Don Debussy, a 16th century harpsichord. “No matter what room you walk into, everyone greets you with a friendly chello. They really had a Handel on everything”

“We had a few concerns coming into this. For one, my family has a history of being born with a clef lip. Beyond that, we were both also aware that Allegra’s biological metronome was ticking, it was just the right time.”

Accordion to experts, child birth becomes increasingly dangerous with age. Increased risks to Grand Pianos range from serious complications down to throwing out their Bach.

“I was fairly insistent on being the one to cut the augmented chord,” explained Don, standing in the waiting room while drinking a Coca-Coda. “Not to harp on it, but it’s something that I’ve always wanted to do as a father so I really begged. I hope I didn’t cause too much treble.”

The doctors reported the baby came in at a healthy 57 inches and 482 pounds 3 ounces, which is a little on the low side, seeing as she’s made entirely of wood, metal, and glossy paint.