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Confused Dance Director Shows Up To The Polls To Cast Ballet

Photo by Maria Lupan on Unsplash

BUCKS COUNTY, PA – With arguably the most important presidential election to date underway, the message to get out and vote couldn’t be clearer; that is unless you are Monica Perot, artistic director of the Hulmeville Community Dance Theater who showed up to the polls today expecting to audition dancers to join the cast of her upcoming production of The Nutcracker. “I’m happy to see such a large turnout, but a lot of these people don’t strike me as trained ballet dancers,” Perot said about the countless voters waiting in line to cast their ballots, “No one is even wearing a leotard or proper slippers, but I suppose I’ll have to keep an open mind and hope to be pleasantly surprised by the audition results.” As voter after voter enters the voting booth to participate in determining the fate of American democracy, Perot remains seemingly undecided on who will perform the leading role of the Mouse King. “I know every audition counts but if this is the pool of ballerinas I have to choose from, I’m going to have to pick the lesser of two evils eventually,” Perot commented as voters exited from behind privacy curtains, their humanity teetering in the balance, “and being cast as the titular Nutcracker is serious business. Not just any unqualified yolk can fill those shoes, but what choice do I have?” With the nation facing an unprecedented existential crisis over issues such as climate change, economic collapse, social justice, and so much more, Perot is beginning to wonder why she ever got involved in community theater in the first place.