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Ways To Keep Your Faith When It’s Obvious God Doesn’t Exist

Photo by Garon Piceli from Pexels

Download DuoLingo and learn their newest course, “How to Speak in Tongues.”

Start all of your work emails with “Dear Heavenly Father” from here on out.

Don’t pay your taxes- just like a real church.

Listen to “Faith” by George Michael on repeat. Congratulations, He is now your God. 

Buy DMT from the Dark Web. You will see Gods you never knew existed. 

Step away from anal and go back to missionary for a while. 

Masturbate in public to be sure someone’s still always watching.

Find a big ol’ pipe organ and let it rip baby!

Ask your doctor if Prozac is right for you.

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