- They’re talking about their friends from middle school more.
- Even you are tired of seeing your baby photos.
- They only wish you happy birthday through Facebook.
- They’ve been seen using Facebook alone in their car at 2 a.m. in a McDonald’s parking lot.
- Their eyes are red after getting their fix.
- Ben Shapiro commented on their latest post with “too far.”
- They’re hacking an election.
- They’re on Facebook.
For when all of us write something or we’re too cowardly to put a name on an article. Hey, we’d like to be employed by whatever soulless corporation did a Google search to make sure we’re not a moron! Now you won’t know which one of us is the moron and you have to hire whoever applied!